Monday, April 9, 2012

Redeemed

‎"Redeemed ... "to pay the full amount owed so as to secure the release of the debtor from the Debtor's Prison." (literal translation at the time of Christ). Praise God, I've been Redeemed!

Dad posted this on my face book today and it hit my heart. "Debtor's prison" rang so true to the mindset I was in a year ago. To feel so trapped in your own sin, selfish thinking, and pity is definitely a prison. And yet, in His perfect timing He reached in to my life and pulled me to His chest and said "this isn't what you were created for" and I cried. I never asked Him how he would fix this....this brokenness. Truly, I was so desperate I clung to whatever He said and said "thank you Jesus for going before me!" It was truly like he had been searching for his little lost sheep. I believe I had a lot of heart issues. My heart was not in him, it was in me. Well, it's still in me (pulse 66...lol) but my love is for Him. What breaks His heart breaks mine because we are one. I have looked around at the suffering around me and I couldn't figure out why I was so sad for them. Yes, empathy is a gift I have but tears all day? Tonight I realized I am shedding the tears He is shedding, my heart breaks for the lost as His does...because when he redeemed me....he took my broken heart and made it His.

I want the ones I love, even the ones I don't like that much (being honest here!) to experience that. Sometimes I want to grab someone's hand and say "you're not alone". Most of the time it's Brittanie's hand because she's the only one at school that won't let go. Yeah, I get it..it makes people feel weird. But really, what I'm saying is "I love you. He loves you. We are not alone." I literally can be walking with Mercie, see a sweet old man walking his laps and have a overwhelming desire to hold his hand and say "Hi, you are not alone." (Are you thinking safety issues?? Well, I do too which is why I didn't do that.) This is a new thing for me. Actually it just started this past year, an overwhelming desire to hold people's hands while they talk to me or physically embrace them. A classmate came up to me the other day and gave me a hug. She said "You always give them out so I thought I'd give you one." Oh, my heart flipped with joy! It DOES feel good to be embraced and be told we are not alone. A teacher hugged me in the hall today for no apparent reason, not knowing how heavy my heart was today. There's freedom in an embrace. For that moment we feel connected....saved....

I believe that is how redemption feels. I believe that is what Jesus longs for us to feel everyday. Redeeming power. Endless love. Hope for the broken because of Jesus' sacrifice.